Confessions on a fast Sunday

In my first ward at BYU, the bishopric had little "get to know you" interviews with everyone. During my interview, I remember being asked what the one calling I DIDN'T want would be. I told him that I didn't want to be a teacher because I hate being in front of people. Little did I know that those words would come back to haunt me. The next week I was asked to accept a calling as a Sunday school teacher. Ummm, okay. In EVERY BYU ward thereafter (both singles and family wards) I was called to be a sunday school teacher or a relief society teacher. The big guy sure does have a sense of humor! But, I actually learned to LOVE teaching and it became easier for me to speak in front of groups. I liked that it made me go out of my comfort zone and that it gave me so many opportunities to study the gospel and bear testimony.  During my summers at BYU, I worked as an EFY counselor and loved having the chance to teach the gospel and bear testimony to the youth. I also served a mission, once again, LOTS of opportunities. For about 8 years of my life, I never really had to seek out opportunities to bear testimony, they always just presented them self in various ways. And, I never really bore my testimony on fast sundays because I figured everyone had already heard enough from me. Well, for the last couple of years I have gotten out of the habit and it is getting harder and harder for me to find the strength to get up and bear my testimony. The longer I wait, the harder it gets. I don't feel that my testimony is weakening, but I do know that it is not being strengthened from the blessings of bearing it. Why am I telling you all this? because I wanted to let you know (and remind myself) that the pit in your stomach you feel before you go up to bear your testimony is nothing compared to the pit that remains after you ignore the promptings and don't get up. I may not be eloquent in speech or have amazing faith promoting stories to tell, but I do have a testimony of the restored gospel and it needs to be heard. Maybe not by you, but I need to let the Lord know that I know that He knows that I know!